So, finally it is the turn for the guys! And now I can write about my own experiences. Many of you may think- what is there to write about - most of the men do it anyway. And yes that is true. But quantity doesn't say anything about the intensity of such self-pleasuring. And believe me, that is something I experienced in my own body.
Most of us start in their teenage years and we keep up with our masturbation practice throughout most of our lives. Even in a relationship we like to play with ourselves.
Basically that is very good news. So most men don't have for example issues with their orgasm. We can reach them quite easily on our own. Our issues are mainly based on anxiety when it comes to partner sex. The main issues for men are premature ejaculation and erection issues.
But on the other hand that doesn't mean we are really connected to our bodys. The typical masturbation pattern is rather short, very goal oriented and brings more or less just relaxation. Most of us, out of my own experience and talking to men, don't include full body touch or any build up in it. It is pretty straightforward.
Again also for men, there is nothing wrong with it. But that has certain limits and if you are open you can expand your experience into complete new levels of embodiement.
I for example used mainly visual stimulation like magazines and internet pictures for self-pleasuring. It changed more to a mind cinema when I grew older. And most men rely on that pattern. Just have a look around on the internet. Or why do you think it is flodded with pornographic pictures. So everything happens in our head and in our genitals.
Again that is okay. But it can become a problem when the fantasies are better than real life sex. Or at least if we believe it is better. I heard of cases where men actually stopped having sex and became really addicted to the internet. So that means they not only don't connect to their bodies, but they loose completely the connection with their partners.
I truly believe that we have to learn to be intimate with ourselves first before we can share that with other people. We should become aware of the feelings and emotions in our body. So it is really about the already talked about:
So why not try something new. Reserve a time slot only for you. Prepare a special setting, lit some candles, take a bath, massage your whole body with lotion. So you think it is to girlish? No it has nothing to do with it. And what would be wrong with exploring the femal side in you, but that is another subject on its own...:-) It is about honouring your body. If you don't like that idea - try something else. Important is only that you incorporate your whole body. Don't go straight for those genitals. Use your breath to connect even deeper and spread the energy throughout your body.
And when it comes to the genital massage - why not do something different? I have masturbated for 20 years with my right hand. Why not switch and use the other one? And don't only use this one stroke. There are so many possiblities.
If you want to learn some technics go to the website of Joseph Kramer:
He has even produced a DVD for men on Mindful masturabtion.
So have a try and feel into your body. What are you aware of? Feel free to share any thoughts and experiences here in this blog.